Saturday, July 14, 2007

American Squirrels Busted in Iran!

From YNet News:

Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation's borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.

"In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran's borders," state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran's borders.
"I heard of this but I have no specific knowledge on the subject," he said. He refused to give further details.

Recently, Iran has increased its efforts in combating espionage by the West. The use of rodents has not been documented in the past.

At first, I assumed that this was a Friday the Thirteenth Hoax, but then the Iranians produced photographic evidence:

Squirrel disembarks from American submarine and is towed in by SEAL team.
First squirrel hits the beach
Squirrels overpower Iranian border gaurds to sieze landing zone
Second wave of squirrels infiltrates by parachute
American agent caught in act, listening in on Mullahs' top-secret strategy conference
Meanwhile, trained asassains prepare to ambush and bury for the winter Ahmadinejad and other top Iranian nuts leaders

According to Washington sources, Nancy Pelosi adn Harry Reid are threatening to open hearings on the Bush Administration's "aggressive and out-of-control" attempts to destabilize the Iranian government.

Meanwhile, Adminstration spokesman Tony Snow has denied any knowledge of the alleged operation, and has warned the Iranian government that the United States expcts the captured squirrels tobe treated humanely. "We will be monitoring the Iranian leadership's menus to make sure there are no fricasees coming up," Snow stated.

An emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council is expected early next week.