Friday, July 06, 2007

Antichrist Sued for Divorce

From The Miami Herald:

Josefina De Jesus Torres gently runs her perfect French manicure across the pages of her wedding album, ruminating on life as the wife of the self-proclaimed Antichrist.

In one picture, church leader Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda pulls off her garter with his teeth. In another, the couple sip frothy champagne in front of a gleaming limo.

"He was my apostle, the perfect man . . . the Prince Charming - even better: God himself had come to love me,'' sighs Torres, a doe-eyed honey blonde. ``I felt better than the Virgin Mary.''

Torres says she often washed his feet and cut his fingernails and toenails as a sign of devotion.

Now, though, the romance that De Jesus told her was divinely decreed has ended in the most temporal of battlefields: divorce court. And, amid court revelations about his personal spending, she is speaking out publicly about life with the controversial Miami-based preacher.

The Miami Herald reported Wednesday that Torres' legal action has forced her husband, head of the multinational Growing in Grace ministry, to give testimony that for the first time reveals how he paid personal expenses with donations to his tax-exempt church. This month, the judge in their divorce case sent a transcript of a recent hearing to federal prosecutors, saying he felt ''ethically compelled'' to bring it to their attention.

Satan may be a harsh master, but wait until he faces Internal Revenue...

De Jesus gained international notoriety by declaring himself to be Jesus Christ in 2004, then later claiming to be the Antichrist. His theory: As he is the Second Coming, his teachings supersede those of Jesus.

[…] Torres, 44, says her suit could help her husband find redemption.

''He himself teaches that unless you suffer something really hard, like prison or serious illness, you will never learn,'' she said. ``God always sends you a warning, `Look, that's bad, correct yourself.'

''That is why I am doing this, not to be judgmental, but something is not right,'' said Torres, who is seeking half of her husband's wealth.

[…] The pair met in late 1999, when De Jesus, who preaches that all sin was destroyed when Christ died on the cross, still called himself only "the Apostle.''

[…] As a teenager, Torres became known in Baranquilla for dressing up as a dancing nun called ''Sister YeYe'' and hosting first Communion parties in nightclubs. She parlayed that character into a children's TV program in the mid-1980s that she says featured early appearances by Shakira, then 8 years old, now a Grammy-winning singer.

What I want to know is whether, as the ex-wife of the Antichrist, she gets half of all the kingdoms of the world? Is the poor guy now just the Prince of the Power of Half the Air - maybe Prince of the Power of Nitrogen and Greenhouse Gases? Does he have to pay child support to all the Sons of Belial? And just who gets to keep the Key to the Bottomless Pit?

The Number of the Beast will soon be 333.