Are you metrospiritual?

Gwyneth Paltrow is one. So are Angelina Jolie and Leonardo DiCaprio. Chances are your bikram yoga teacher has the major characteristics and so does the guy who makes your fruit smoothie at Jamba Juice. Donna Karan is totally in on it. The salesperson who helps you find the right Botanical Kinetics moisturizer at Aveda is probably one, along with your eco-tourism guide at Costa Rican surf camp. Richard Gere may be the proto-one and Uma Thurman was pretty much born into it. What is influencing Hollywood stars and Wal-Mart shoppers, fashionistas and Filene’s basement-dwellers alike? It’s called metrospirituality, and chances are you already know or even lead the life of a metrospiritual.

Do you go out of your way to buy organic food? Have you thought about the wu wei in your home? Have you tried yoga, belly-dancing, or surfing recently? Are you attracted to traditional crafts from other cultures or have you started knitting? Do you own a Prius or have you thought about buying a hybrid car? Are you a tea connoisseur or an organic wine- and beer-drinker? Is there a certain aromatherapy scent that brings you comfort, especially in candle form? If most of your answers are yes, then count yourself among the growing numbers of metrospirituals—the kinder, gentler post-Yuppies who want to treat the earth and native cultures with respect, connect with their inner source and inspiration, test their bodies and expand their minds with ancient physical practices—and do it all with serious style.

[…] Metrospirituality is the mainstreaming of Taoist, Buddhist (thanks to Richard Gere and Uma’s dad, Buddhism scholar and practitioner Robert Thurman), and Hindu values, among others, into an easily digestible, buyable form. Take Hampton Chutney Company, for instance. This highly popular New York-area food empire makes traditional Indian dosas and uttapams—the kind of thing you might make and eat at an Indian ashram—which is exactly where the owners, Gary and Isabel MacGurn, met in 1990. They now have three thriving outposts at very tony addresses—one in Long Island's Hamptons, one in New York City's Soho, and one on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. At the Soho store, pictures of yogis decorate the walls and devotional Indian chants pour soothingly out of the stereo.
(Be sure to read the whole article on BeliefNet.)

I don’t know about y’all, but there ain’t no wu wei in my house! Oh wait – according to a Taoism resource, “wu wei” is “nondoing” or going with the flow. Guess there’s a whole lot of wu wei in my house, at least on Saturdays.

Seriously, I see this sort of smorgasboard religion all the time in Austin, where folks tend to have too much money and too much time on their hands. In all fairness, it does encourage people to “be nice” and to “do nice things.” They litter less; they plant trees; they take care of their bodies (I could take a lesson from that one); they donate to ease poverty and homelessness. Those are all intrinsically good things.

But it is hopelessly trendy – the victims of perceived capitalist oppression are worshipped; the victims of anti-Christian persecution never make a blip on the radar screen. One wonders what would happen if littering and raw red meat became fashionable.

And it does little to contribute to the growth of that condition us redneck primitives refer to as “holiness.” A religion I assemble myself will generally, in the final analysis, serve my self. My sins can simply be redefined away, and my “spiritual growth” is then free to take me in the direction I wanted to go in the first place. The need for transformation vanishes as quickly as the dew from the grass of the early morning yoga class, Grasshopper. The journey to hell is made kinder, gentler and more comfortable with tofu, feng shui, and aromatherapy.

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Mat 7:13-14, NASB)

You can test your own level of Metrospirituality here. I scored an 8 out of 36; that’s worse than my grade in organic chemistry way back in ’73

You scored 8, on a scale of 0 to 36. Here's how to interpret your score

You are not at all metrospiritual. You probably don't live in a city, and your religious life much more rooted in traditional forms and practices than in lifestyle and consumer choices. You model your values on what's most important to you, not on what celebrities are promoting, and you don't stay up to date with the latest trends.

Perhaps I could define the “bubbaspiritual” for those who seek True Enlightenment from the simple wisdom of the timid creatures of the forest, then shoot, skin, and eat a few of them.