An Excerpt from St. John of the Cross

From The Dark Night of the Soul, Chapter II

5. Some of these beginners, too, make little of their faults, and at other times become over-sad when they see themselves fall into them, thinking themselves to have been saints already; and thus they become angry and impatient with themselves, which is another imperfection. Often they beseech God, with great yearnings, that He will take from them their imperfections and faults, but they do this that they may find themselves at peace, and may not be troubled by them, rather than for God's sake; not realizing that, if He should take their imperfections from them, they would probably become prouder and more presumptuous still. They dislike praising others and love to be praised themselves; sometimes they seek out such praise. Herein they are like the foolish virgins, who, when their lamps could not be lit, sought oil from others.

6. From these imperfections some souls go on to develop many very grave ones, which do them great harm. But some have fewer and some more, and some, only the first motions thereof or little beyond these; and there are hardly any such beginners who, at the time of these signs of fervour, fall not into some of these errors.

Ouch, ouch, ouch. I see myself so well in the first couple of chapters of Dark Night of the Soul that I alternate between shouting “Yes! Exactly!” and wanting to crawl under a rock and hide. I always want God to take away my failings, but I wonder what I’d become if He did? He knows me well enough to be aware that my flaws, failings, and screw-ups are the only things that bring a little humility into my life.

The Second Letter to the Corinthians contains Paul’s famous “thorn in the flesh” passage. The traditional (and therefore probably correct) interpretation is that this refers to some physical failing or infirmity. I can’t help wondering, though, if it might be some habitual sin that Paul couldn’t shake. The glory of God is revealed in the weakness of His servants, and even our failures can be redeemed to point to Christ, who triumphs in spite of them.

Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2Co 12:8-10, NASB)