From MI-5 to Am I Sick?

From The Daily Mail (UK):

David Shayler is sitting before me - slim, tanned, sockless, dressed from top-to-toe in white and very, very chatty.

"I am the messiah and hold the secret of eternal life," he starts excitedly. "It all came about quite suddenly.

"First I started meditating, then I learnt how to channel the "light", and the more research I did - into Freemasonry, the Knights Templar, Kabbalah - the more convinced I became that I was the Christ."

Jesus Christ? "No, Jesus of the New Testament is an archetype," he explains patiently. "His name derives from the 13th Name of God in Kabbalah, which helps activate the Messiah consciousness within us.

"I was, though, crucified with a crown of thorns and nails then incarnated as Astronges, a Jewish revolutionary put to death by the Romans at around the end of the last century BC ...It explained why in this life I had funny shaped wrists and ankles..."

Had? "Yes, look," he says, proffering his tanned arms. "They've pretty much corrected themselves now I've acknowledged the crucifixion - but there used to be big hollows where nails had been bashed in."

The last decade has been a tough one for the former MI5 officer.

Ten years ago this month, he gave a shocking whistle-blowing interview in the Mail on Sunday accusing both MI5 and MI6 of mismanagement and illegal activities and alleging that MI6 had been involved in a failed assassination attempt on the Libyan leader, Colonel Gaddafi.

The story caused a national scandal. David fled to France with his girlfriend, fellow intelligence officer Annie Machon, and finally, after three years in exile and four months in a French jail, returned home in August 2000 to public vilification, threats, a court case, six month jail sentence and a ruined career.

[...] "It was in June that a psychic channelled the spirit of Mary Magdalene and anointed me the messiah and, finally, my whole life made sense."

[...] He also claims he can affect the weather, prevent terrorist attacks and influence football results. Oh, and that the Rod of Aaron - the staff said to have been carried by Moses's brother - has an anagram written on it in Hebrew which translated says: 'David Shayler, Righteous King'.

[...] And in recent years he's been scratching a living giving talks to conspiracy theorists about the September 11 attacks - last year he was ridiculed for insisting that the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre were brought down by a U.S. Government conspiracy using "missiles surrounded by holograms made to look like planes".

[...] While he is likeable, well-spoken, beautifully mannered and very clever, it's all very disturbing.

Particularly when he rattles through his past lives - along with Astronges (the crucified Jewish revolutionary) there's also George Washington, Pythagoras, Socrates, Leonardo da Vinci, Mark Antony and Lawrence of Arabia.

And the all-white wardrobe - is that a Kabbalah thing?

"Actually, it's a Christ thing. You'll notice that T. E. Lawrence - Lawrence of Arabia - started wearing long white robes when he realised he was the Christ. It seems part of the process."

[...] He has an answer for everything, even when I ask if he ever takes drugs.

"Of course I do. I smoke cannabis but it's been used in religious experiences for years. Oh and magic mushrooms..."

In large quantities? "Erm, not really. I smoke cannabis every day - it makes you more spiritual and less violent and takes you closer to the light."

I am thinking of giving up blogging. My aging imagination is no longer capable of keeping up with the real world. I spend time thinking of something odd, humorous, or off the wall, and then something like this shows up in the newspaper. It’s really discouraging.

Given his beliefs regarding 911 and his Messianic selfimage, I expect Mr. Shayler will soon announce his candidacy for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. Frankly, however, I'd be happier if he used his powers this football season to intervene on behalf of the Aggies and the Houston Texans.