Monday, December 12, 2005

Polygamy rights is the next civil rights battle

Check out the Organization for Christian Polygamy (WARNING! HIGH STRANGENESS LEVEL!)

They advertise themselves as “Continuing the Reformation.” Gee whiz, I guess so, although I know a lot of Reformed-type guys who might dispute their claim. I have a feeling this is an inevitable outcome of the interpret-it-yourself-with-no-recourse-to-tradition approach to scripture that can be found on the outermost wacko fringes of Evangelical theology.

They seem to go to great lengths to make themselves sound mainstream:

"Polygamy is in the Bible. Polygamy is found throughout history. These facts prove that marriage's definition includes plural marriage. Polygyny is a far older traditional marriage than anti-polygamy.

  • This is NOT about polyandry or polyamory. (just multiple chicas)
  • This is NOT about fornication or adultery. (not as we define it)
  • This is NOT about group marriage or wife swapping. (the chicas are all mine)
  • This is NOT about dishonest bigamy or infidelity. (it's about honest bigamy)
  • This is NOT about underaged or arranged marriage. (we're mature idiots)
  • This is NOT about any form of mormonism. (we're a different heresy)
  • This is NOT about re-defining marriage." (really it's not!)

Well, if it’s not about redefining marriage, then why do they make such a point of riding in on the coattails of gay marriage? And if it’s all about love, then what difference does it whether if it’s recognized by the state? Is it really all about health insurance? And I have to ask – so what if “polygyny is a far older traditional marriage than anti-polygamy?” Hunting bears with rocks is a far older tradition than hunting bears with rifles. You go first; I’ll be right behind you. And so what if polygamy is in the bible? The last time I checked, so was passing your children through the fire to Moloch. Are we going to have an Organization for Christian Human Sacrifice? Never mind; forget that. I don't want to start something.

I wonder how they find a pastor to marry them? Deacons, priests, and bishops are all supposed to be the husbands of one wife, if I remember Paul in the Pastorals correctly. One suspects that their ministers are all self-apponted.