Wednesday, October 19, 2005

How many Anglicans to change a light bulb?

REUTERS, Oct 19, 5:07 AM ET (emphasis added)
How many men does it take to change a light bulb in a church?

Thanks to the European Union's "Working at Heights Directive" the answer is four -- over three days at a cost of more than 1,300 pounds.

Preaching at St Benet's Church in Beccles, Suffolk in gathering gloom, Father Anthony Sutch had to call in electricians to change light bulbs that are 40 feet above the congregation.

Because safety regulations deemed the church ceiling too high for a ladder, scaffolding had to be erected for a lengthy and costly replacement operation.
Could Father Sutch have done the job himself?

"When I was a young monk. I climbed up a ladder to have a look at something and two girls whistled and said what good legs I have. I haven't climbed up a ladder since," he told Wednesday's Daily Mail.

Here’s yet one more reason why the EU can’t possibly represent the 10 Evil Kingdoms of the Apocalypse. No self-respecting antichrist would ever put himself in a position of having his plans potentially thwarted by legalized union rules!

I can see it now:
AntiChrist: “These people have refused to recant their ridiculous Christianity and bow before me, their Glorious Master! Take them to the guillotine!”

Lord High Executioner: “Sorry, Most Satanic Potentate – the guillotine release switch is broken.”

AC: “Well fix it forthwith, or behold the pain and anguish of my wrath!”

LHE: “But I can’t, your abominableness – no one can!”

AC: “Why the hell (and I mean that literally, you insufferable worm) not?”

LHE: “The guillotine is 42 feet tall. We’re not allowed to touch it, and the union says it won’t be ready for three days!”

AC: “Three days? THREE DAYS!!! Do you know what happened the last time I waited three days to make sure Somebody was dead? Aaarrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh (indecipherable gurgling noises.)”