For a Serious Analysis...

...try another article. This one is from the Port Clinton (Ohio) News Herald

RICE TOWNSHIP -- When responding to a complaint of cows on the road Saturday, a sheriff's deputy accidentally struck one of the cows.

According to a report from the Sandusky County Sheriff's Office, a deputy was sent out to the area of Sandusky County Road 109 around 10:30 p.m. As the deputy was traveling in the 2200 block of Sandusky County Road 128, they struck a cow that ran onto the road.

The cow's owner came to the scene and the family gathered the rest of the other cows that had become loose.

The deputy was not hurt in the crash. But the cow that was struck was taken away because of its injuries.

"The cow ... was taken away because of its injuries." Okay - WHERE? To the barn to recuperate in the loving arms of her family? To the vet for emergency medical treatment? To the barbecue pit for, umm... emergency medical treatment? (Nurse - scalpel! That rib has to come off STAT!) Real people want to KNOW!