Fo' shizzle

Hip youth pastor now completely unintelligible

AUSTIN — After immersing himself in popular slang phrases, youth leader Dave Jackson has become completely unintelligible to members of his church, even the youth.
"We stopped understanding him about a month ago," says Tanya Gooden, 17, of his youth group. "It was a slow process. Now when he preaches we have to assume a lot of things by his tone, not his words."
Jackson, tracked down at his church office, told a reporter, "Fo shizzle, my nizzle, it's the big mack tizzle, you trackin'? The get-down was off the hook, bra. Big-time ace. Dey scened until the old folk rolled in and the crew got dot gone. Good Sunday, bra."
Jackson can no longer speak plain English even if he wishes to. At times he desperately tries to cross the chasm of incomprehension he has built. For senior pastor Rich Leonard, that's not good enough.
"He's about to shizzle himself right out of a job," Leonard says.

I’ve known guys like that. You know, the ones that think they can win kids to Christ by burping in public. And Austin is certainly the appropriate setting. I like Lark News; my only complaint is that they don’t update often enough. Clean, sarcastic, and funny – hard to beat.